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How to conquer the USA

Came to my guests. Regular guests, domestic. And the girl is American. The sister of one of my friends. Adult already in principle, but it turned out to be, only in appearance. And here I sit, drinking tea, chatting. American this, Susan, pretty well speak Russian.
Как захватить США

And in the midst of the conversation, the TV turns off, the light gradually turns off (energy saving lamps), the room comes complete darkness. Late in the evening already. The window can not see anything, then the opposite house is also without electricity.
Have you ever seen fifty pounds of primitive, animal fear? I saw.
The idea that you can’t turn on the light, led Susan into a state of panic. No hastily lighted the candle or the included flashlight couldn’t calm her down.
A poor American and then looked around, as if expecting from the dark corners jump out Freddy Krueger and dragged her straight to elm Street.
All the knowledge of the Russian language left the girl at the time, and in perfect English she yelled something like: “Call the Consul of the United States.”
Yeah, right now. As in our city every child remembers by heart all the phones the American Embassy.
The case was compounded by the fact that Susan forgot their pills to relieve stress. I had to resort to a purely Russian-depressant – pour in it half a Cup of vodka.

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It seems to have worked.
By the time the room was illuminated by all the candles that were used on the farm, and she started to calm down. She calmed down so much that they found a remote control and tried to turn on TV. The screen, of course, is not lighted. Attempt number two – zero. Attempt number three – nothing.
Such a childlike wonder at the human face I have not seen.
… And why is it not working?
– No electricity!” (“That’s because…”)
Here, apparently, to calm his nerves, Susan decided to make coffee. Coffee maker electric, the result is clear. There it was again covered.
Why in this awful house, nothing works?! Why is there no light?!
From the screams I could not stand the neighbors, the wall started knocking, and it looks like legs.
Sitting in the dark with the hysterically sobbing girl was not interested, and the guests began to gather. Elevator, by itself, was blacked out too. What cost to persuade and then to hold Susan’s dark (really dark) stairs, I will keep silence, so as not to offend the brotherly American people.
But when she found on the street, too, is complete and utter darkness… (de-energize the entire neighborhood. Went out, naturally, and street lights.)
To get in the car Susan was only on the third attempt. The question of how to go, if you can’t see, the friend opened the lighter and stuck it in the window, the other hand running the motor:

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– But so we will go. Well that the Central locking already locked, otherwise Susan would jump on the go…
By profession, by the way, this is Susan, a PSYCHOANALYST…
How to conquer the United States? No problem, just need to turn off their cities with electricity…

You may ask the question: how to do it? Yes, for you it is a problem. For me it is a problem. But for the Almighty Russian hackers that hit the electoral system of the United States, it’s no problem, no challenge and not even fun, because of the simplicity of the task. But if you ask – they’ll do.

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